A Boundary is a many splendored thing. The need for boundaries really sank into my brain last year when, in a time of terrible desperation, a friend handed me a book called “Boundaries: When to say YES, when to say NO“, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
At that point, all I knew was that I had allowed someone into my life who lacked integrity and character, I had put up with things I shouldn’t have, and it had all ended in a big mess.
This book was the light in the darkness, the holy grail, the shining nugget of truth and wisdom I had been searching for, for a long time. Quite frankly, it can be confusing trying to be a nice person. I mean, aren’t we supposed to turn the other cheek? Aren’t we supposed to forgive? Aren’t we supposed to give without concern about getting anything back?
I’ve learned that people can have bad boundaries with their kids, their parents, their boss, their spouse…anybody we are in relationship with. And you might have good boundaries with your boss, but poor boundaries with your mother.
The book leaf asks: “Are you in control of your life? Do people take advantage of you? Do you have trouble saying no? Do you find yourself wondering: Can I set limits and still be a loving person? How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries?”
If those questions strike a chord in you, this book will set you free. I am not kidding or overstating. It has changed my life. It’s sold millions of copies, won awards, is used by counselors in individual and group therapy. Of course, you have to actually DO the things they recommend, but you will find in it such hope and practical guidelines that you will be eager to get started. These two amazing men (Henry Cloud and John Townsend) have written books for every situation: Boundaries in marriage, with teens, with older children, in dating, etc. Get a copy and get free 🙂
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